Thursday, January 31, 2013

Geek in a Public Restroom

I have found that Geeks in general have quirks that can tend to be neurotic. I have many such quirks and many of them are neurotic. One of my biggest issues is public bathrooms.

Simply put, I hate public bathrooms. I appreciate how these rooms serve a vital service to people when they are away from their own personal bathrooms, but suppositories also serve a vital service but I hate the thought of using them. I don’t want to say the people that designed these rooms are evil, but there are times when you see the layout of the restroom you think the designer was at a really bad point in their life. I honestly do not know how it is in the ladies room, but sometimes they put the urinal next to the sink in the men's room. If the lights were turned off, you would have a 50/50 chance of getting the sink or the urinal. Restrooms are notoriously small. It is easy to get a back log of people waiting. I hate waiting. There is no right place to stand, without getting in someone’s way. It’s really awkward when you get in the way of the guy peeing, while you’re trying to wait. Yes, I’ve been in that crowded of a bathroom. Dance club bathrooms can be such a nightmare. Then there are the locks on the doors. Those things never hold. The bolt only ever just barely catches the latch. One shake, which happens when someone wants your seat, and that door flies right open. 

The toilet paper dispensers are truly evil. They hang these things a foot and a half from the floor. I practically have to get down on my hands and knees to get any TP. Then to make things worse you pull on the toilet paper and it breaks off at one square.

The worst bathroom set up I ever experienced was a row of four stalls and at the far end, so everyone had to pass by you, were two urinals. At this time I was in the first stall. A large line formed outside the stalls. There were lots of men slowly passing by my stall. What made this so bad was there were no doors on the stalls. I could only sit on the toilet and stare at each man and boy who stared at me as they waited for the line to move past.

This leads to one of my quirks when I am in a public bathroom. I do not like my presence to be known. I go to great lengths when someone enters the bathroom not to be heard or seen. I always keep my feet tucked under the toilet so they cannot be seen and all noise, including bodily noises, stop. I do not even move. I will stay frozen for several minutes, while I wait for the other occupant to leave. This has had its drawbacks. There have been two times when someone turned off the lights when I was still in the bathroom, because they thought the restroom was empty. It is unbelievably pitch black in a public bathroom. I could not see to do anything. I simply had to wait until someone came in and turned on the lights and hoped they did not turn them off again.

Using an urinal is a different situation. It is a much simpler bodily process than using the stall. I can get in and out quickly. Just have to stare at the wall until you are finished, you wash your hands and you’re out of there. But, it isn’t always that easy.
There are some rules that should be followed when using a urinal. Let’s start with the obvious, DO NOT TALK to the other guys. While we are on the subject of talking, this also means NO NOISES. I really do not need the description of how good or how painful it is to pee. When you are done peeing, please remain facing the urinal while you do up your pants. Do not turn around and show everyone how you pack. Finally, it is polite to keep at least one empty urinal between you and the next person. Obviously if there are no other urinals available, you may use the one next to someone. However, when there is a row of six empty urinals and you choose the one next to me I’m going to worry as to what kind of pervert you are.

As I said, I have quirks and they tend to be neurotic. I understand that most people do not have a problem using public restrooms. They way most of you act, tells me you have no problem using a public bathroom. I simply ask that you take into consideration those of us who are in the restroom and use some etiquette before you start toweling off in the sink.

Thanks To:
        Public Bathrooms by TakeAPotatoChip @  
        Super Toilet Paper by Exxcentric-Love @ 
              Random Perspective  by ClarisseXD @
        Need Your Toilet Fixed by Wish04 @